Mortification

Mortification, there is nothing like it.

You would think that the older you get, the more you would learn from your mistakes and not make them again.

Unfortunately I tend to have the habit of making the same mistakes over and over, especially when it comes to men.

For example:

I always go for the bad boys, the worse they treat me, the more I like them. The saying: ‘Treat em mean, keep em keen’ was made for girls like me.
When Oprah first publicised ‘He’s just not that into you’ I zoomed to the shops and read it cover to cover.

I was one of the ‘yup he REALLY REALLY isn’t into you’ kind of girls. It didn’t stop me, bad boys are like a crack addiction, you know it’s so bad for you, but you love it so much, you just can’t give it up.

And you would think that by the age of almost 28 after having my fingers burned countless times I would learn. But no.

I remember back in my hey day, I had such a wonderful, good looking and kind boyfriend who would have done anything for me. He told me I was funny, pretty and perfect wife material. He wanted to make me roasts on Sunday and snuggle up and watch dvds.

But then the irresistibly posh, disgustingly smug and gorgeous looking bad boy from my office started sending me filthy emails.
I loved it. I couldn’t get enough. I was like f*** the boyfriend, let’s shag and shag the filthy bad boy.

So I did on numerous occasions - and after a while I felt bad for shagging 2 boys at once, so I dumped the boyfriend for the filthy bad boy. Said bad boy (obviously) dropped me like a hot potato as soon as he found out I had dumped my darling boyfriend. And now the kind, lovely boyfriend is about to be engaged to his faithful new girlfriend..

Karma can be a bitch.

Needless to say I am doggedly trying to find the ‘Mr Perfect’ which is absolutely impossible as he doesn’t really exist as we all know. I think I need to lower my standards BIG time.

But to make it worse, I keep on making such terrible faux pas (plural?) and what is worse… I have done it in writing. The problem with social media these days is that you get to stalk your exes on Facebook, follow Ashton Kutcher on Twitter and check out your ex hot boss on LinkedIn, however sending a message can be detrimental to your reputation as it is smack bang there in black and white.

So now I am having an absolute cringe - worthy, spine shivering, ‘ok blind’ experience as I sent a hot guy a private message on Facebook – 2 weeks ago. And guess what? No response. And I know he has been on Facebook. So now I have horrifying images of him taking a screen grab of my message and sending it to his friends labelling me the bunny boiler like Demi Moore in Fatal Attraction.

Seriously, I need help. Can someone please, please wean me off my bad boy addiction?