To be OCD or not to be OCD

I would like to know if this recital I have in my head is a product of being an only child or it is something everyone does but rarely talks about.

Sometimes when I do things, like for instance put my contact lenses in (clear contacts due to my piercing blue eyes) I say to myself: 'Ok you have, have to, get your contacts in the 1st time because if you don't, you will never have sex again.'

Or I will be driving to the shops and say to myself 'if you don't reach the shops by 22.22, you will...never have sex again'

Or I will be walking briskly on the pavement and I try to hop, skip and jump over the cracks and only walk on the flagstones and I say to myself...' Ok if you stand on the crack, you will never have sex again'

Or I will lock my door and being fully aware that I have locked the door, go back not once, but twice and check it is firmly locked...or never have sex again.

Or I will get a text message and I will think in my head: 'Oh please please let it be him, but if it isn't and rather a text from a friend, I will NEVER hear from him again and guess what I will never have sex again....'



I must admit it's not always the 'I'll never have sex again' quote at the end, but to me I think this is the WORST CASE SCENARIO anyone could ever be in so maybe that's why I tend to use it a lot.

I do find though that the older I get, the more OCD I become. For example, if I go to a restaurant and the serviette, knife and fork is on my right I will move it to the left, because it goes.on.the.left in my opinion. OK?? Also if someone puts my wineglass on the left hand side...no no no! It must be on the right, perfectly aligned with the knife.

Similarly when someone takes plates away when other people are still eating...hmm this makes me uppity. And stacking, tsk tsk. This is not to say that I don't mind doing this, it's just when you go to a restaurant you expect them to know to wait for everyone to finish.

I kind of get OCD in other ways, sometimes, sometimes, to be honest to get attention. One time in London, I went to a BBQ. I had to face a very brief ex date who had f***** off to the Caribbean without a backward glance and now had to face me after his rude behaviour. Anyway I had bigger fish to fry. I was smitten by a hottie that I have known as a friend forever.

Needless to say that I got onto the bus with said hottie and another drunken friend who kept on slurring 'You're beautiful' from the row behind me. I was acting like a little priss (think Bree Van De Kamp from Desperate Housewives) and vigorously wiping my hands with hand hygiene gel and wrinkling my nose. I visibly sighed when we got to the place in Fulham where we were going to, as I heard a horrendous ablution story about a person leaving the dancefloor in disrepair, needless to say after flicking and flouncing my hair and trotting about with my nose in the air, I left the hottie intrigued but sans smooch. I heard later that he had in fact tired to follow me but I had ponied away too quickly. Damn!! Sometimes being over clean and anal (so to speak) appeals to men.

Going back to my point of my little OCD quirk, to sum up I MUST have:

-not put my contacts in first time
-not reached the shop by 22.22
-and stepped on every crack whilst walking briskly

FML.