Waxing and then waning

On waxes:

I am actually incredulous that I still wax my nether regions after the experiences I’ve had. And oh my crisis, after the stories I’ve heard from girls at book club, you would think that all of us would just give the fuck up and not bother.

I remember my first wax at the tender age of 12 when I was having my first mixed party, with silver disco ball and robot lights nogal. I was having my legs to the top of my thighs, done. I screamed like a little girl. My mother just glanced over and said to me “Get used to it doll, beauty is pain.” And my god, she’s right. How much I’ve done subsequently to try look purrtty for boys is actually ridiculous.

Anyway I’ve had it all, from an amateur getting too scared to whip the wax off which subsequently resulted in me sitting with olive oil trying to get it off myself, to people cooking wax on a 2 hob stove in brown floral cooking pots and me lying on a dirty brown towel, ugh mock charge. No ways. Then there was the place on the Kings Road in London that insisted on saying they needed 45 minutes to wax while others took 5 minutes. Or what’s actually worse than that is when they leave the wax on and seal you together.

My one friend had a terrible experience too. The friendly mama took a massive swab of wax and proceeded to coat her entire ‘flower’. With sleeves rolled up, she tried to rip it off in one go. My friend staggered out ashen faced and clammy - I still don’t think she’s recovered.

There are so many more stories I could enlighten you with, as I am sure every girl can, but I am thinking, very seriously, that laser is the way forward. Waxing is way too barbaric.