• Wear black polyester pants with cheap looking black shoes
• Wear Oakleys, of any kind
• Have a personalised number plate
• Name drop on Z list celebrities that no-one gives a fuck about
• Say howzit and bru too often
• Think that Toast is roasted bread and not THE pedi place in JHB
• Take me out for dinner to some tacky Italian and expect me to foot the bill or conveniently ‘forget’ your pin, like whatever
• Take me to a Quentin Tarantino blood and gore movie (unless I can jump on your lap and cuddle for comfort)
• Get more excited about going to the Roxette concert than a 30 year old woman
• Overdo fillet on the braai
Absolute no no’s in my book on couples:
• Picking each other’s spots
• Sharing a loo
• Sharing a toothbrush
• Throwing up in front of a mate unless absolutely necessary*
*see Leigh reference
• Smooching at a dinner table while people try to act cool with this unnecessary gropage
• PDA of affection on facebook – please, cry me a river, we all think it’s SAD
• Not having your own opinion but a shared one: You might as well be fucking Brangelina
* To cut a long story short, we listened to grunting and growling of Leigh throwing up the entire way back from the Magaliesberg- it took us 3 hours to get back. If you don’t believe me, ask Reece T for the video recording!
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